How I'm Learning to Stand Out Instead of Fitting In 

Introduction — The Women I Used to Admire 

I always admire the women who looked a certain way and who looked glamorous and also the ones who were more popular and more outgoing than me. And to be honest, I think a lot of us who are shy kind of look to those women because I heard this: If you admire that person's personality trait then you probably have that trait deep inside yourself. And that stuck with me (and it's slowly starting to come out again). You see when I was a child I kind of used to be the social butterfly. The girl who was outspoken, the girl who spoke her mind when needed to, the girl who just lit up the room and made everyone happy as the outcome. 

Stop Dimming Your Light for Other People

But here's the thing I wanna say to you beautiful women out there: Do NOT dim your light! I don't care if your family is not happy about it, your friends, your coworkers, your boss, your spouse, etc. Just keep it shining! Do NOT afraid to be you! Because for SO many years I dimmed my light for so many people (and it became detrimental to my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical health). I had to find myself again and I'm finally realizing my self worth again. And no, it's not an easy journey because one day you're healing and you feel like you're fine and other days you feel like you don't want to do anything but lay in bed all day and nothing and just be depressed forever. And now what I'm currently learning is I will NOT shrink anymore for anyone!

Learning to Embrace My Feminine Side

People will just have to accept me for who I am now and this goes back to when I was younger. I didn't really show off my feminine because I was afraid of the spotlight and shining. But now as I'm getting older I'm learning to stand in that area as well. Personality wise, appearance wise, etc. But honestly I can't do it without God. When I started getting closer to God, I've noticed so many changes in me. I'm starting to have more hobbies again, and basically my personality is coming back, but basically a new and improved version of myself! And to be honest I feel so free! 

It’s Okay to Outgrow People as You Grow

Sometimes when some people see you're a big ball of energy they want to dim it because it makes them uncomfortable. And I'm currently realizing as I'm elevating it's okay to outgrow people. And I'm not even going to lie it has dimmed me for YEARS, but I'm also getting my power back through God and practicing self-care. I'm starting to love myself more, have less social anxiety, listening to girl empowerment music, and all things that are positive, Some things I can still work on like a little of more of my confidence, but over the years like I said I feel more free, I feel happier and more at peace. And this is the lesson that I'm learning as well y'all. I'm learning that people may leave your life and maybe because you've leveled up or y'all have outgrown each other, it doesn't matter. 

Some People Are Only Meant for a Season

It's OKAY. Because sometimes those certain seasons happened for a purpose so you could become wiser and learn boundaries or maybe discernment of what you will or will NOT tolerate in the future and that's what I'm learning. But it's okay I know sometimes it gets lonely, but you will eventually meet people who gets you so just confide in God (or whatever you believe in but make sure it's positive) and He will answer. I'm also learning to speak my mind again. It was tough to be honest because I wasn't the type to really raise my voice in the face of conflict, but something's changing in me. I'm learning to speak my mind even if it disturbs someone and yes it felt liberating because I haven't done it in years. That was when I was my most confident. I'm learning to take my power back.

I’m Learning to Speak My Mind Again

I know some of you can relate to this: not saying anything just because you don't want to lose a friendship or a relationship or anything of that matter. I get it because I feel like we are ALL going through this journey together. I'm also learning to dress how I WANT to dress for a change without the feeling of people judging me. I'm wanting to put on that sweet smelling perfume, have that beautiful hairstyle, wear those nice bracelets, and earrings, wear a little makeup and overall just be ME. Because at the end of the day just like in the movie "Madea's Family Reunion" Madea quoted, "People are going to judge you all day long" and that kind of stuck with me. People will judge you so just be yourself. Whether you like rock music, or whether you are "unconventional", or anything just be yourself. 

God Is Helping Me Become Who I’m Supposed to Be

It's okay. Because in this process God is shaping my character and I believe He's shaping yours too that's why I feel like you clicked on this blog post. So yeah I hope y'all have a great night and remember: you are a beautiful and unique woman made in God's image and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. So if you're in a season where you feel like you're finding yourself again, don't be afraid of the woman you're becoming. You don't have to keep fitting into places God may be growing you out of. Keep growing, keep learning, keep taking care of yourself, and most importantly, keep allowing God to guide you. You don't have to dim the light He placed inside of you just to make yourself easier for other people to accept.

If you're ready to gently reconnect with your mind, body, and faith, download my free 7-Day Christian Reset Workbook. It will help you slow down, reflect, and begin rebuilding your life with God one peaceful day at a time.