How I'm Learning to Stop Caring What Others Think While Finding My Identity in Christ

 

Introduction

Now I'm not going to lie when I was little, I was really outgoing and I didn't care about what others thought as much but now, I'm slowly gaining myself back and I sometimes still care a lot about what other people think but it's getting better and I can't thank God enough for that. Sometimes we can care too much about what others think of us, and sometimes that can feel like we're too much in a cage and can make us feel anxious and very depressed in the outcome of it all. And I totally get it because it's something that I experience a lot. But I'm learning to put my validation in God's hands and I want y'all to do that too. We are all on this healing journey together and I just want to let y'all know that we are all human and of course we're going to care what others think of us time to time, but I don't want it to rule your life to the point where it makes you feel sad and depressed because I totally get it because I've been there (and are still experiencing these experiences, but anyway, I want to share how I'm starting not to let the opinions and not to rely heavily on other people's validation while finding my identity in Christ.

1. Connect with God More

As I'm learning to connect with God more, I'm slowly realizing not to rely on everyone's else's approval. I used to be that person that would ask others and I would mainly say it to my mother and say, "How am I getting better, Ma?" And, "Ma, do you think I'm improving?" Lmao and she would say yes all the time haha which was true, but the thing that I'm learning is, I don't need everyone's source of validation. Really and truly all I need is God's. And honestly the most powerful thing I'm realizing is I'm literally having a lot more revelations of who I am as a person with God and I'm starting to recognize that NO one can shake me or break me like they used to before and really and truly, NO one knows you more than God and that's what I'm realizing as well. Now many of you are probably wondering, "Ashanti, how do we connect with God more?" Well I would start off reading the Bible and read this verse right here because it's about validation:

Galations 1:10  ~ "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ". 

And this verse is powerful because it shows you not to rely on other people's approval but of God's and this verse is currently helping me a LOT. 

2. Learning How to Stop People Pleasing

This is probably one of the biggest ones I'm learning right now. Sometimes I don't want to say no merely because sometimes I don't want to be rejected by people. But I think it really roots from me not wanting to be alone or not wanting to be rejected. But what I'm slowly learning and realizing is I can enjoy my own company. I don't always have to agree with people to keep the peace or to keep people around me. And I'm learning how to say no for my mental and emotional health and that's powerful. And also the reason why I people please sometimes is because I don't want to be disliked but God is telling me who cares about what others think? It's about what God thinks and what God thinks ONLY. So what? People might misunderstand you, judge you, and criticize you. Like I said, only God can judge us and I'm learning that God sees me as His daughter in His image so that is ALL that matters at the end of the day. That's a tip for y'all too. Learn how to put yourself first and to not sacrifice your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs just to please anyone and you'll probably feel much better. Now I'm learning how to say no more, develop more boundaries, enjoy my alone time, and I'm feeling SO much better. 

Proverbs 29:25 ~ "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."

3. Enjoying My Time Alone

Now this one for me is very subtle but powerful. I didn't used to enjoy spending time with myself as much I just used to tolerate it. I wanted more friends that related to me, more people in my life that would actually get me, but what I'm learning is that to root yourself in God and eventually those things will come. As I started to slowly find my identity in Christ I'm learning what I like and what I don't like, who gets my attention and who doesn't,  etc. It's all about putting boundaries in and eventually you'll find people who relates more to you.

Psalm 46:10 ~ “Be still, and know that I am God.”

4. Me Putting a Boundary in with Social Media

Now this is something we can ALL agree on. Social media can have us all thinking and comparing ourselves to people ALL of the time. Millennials and Gen Z people can ESPECIALLY relate to this one. When we're constantly looking at others on social media, we slowly start losing ourselves. And I can say that because I've lost myself for so many years. So many years of comparing myself to other people's relationships, friendships, what other people like to do, but really and truly I had a realization and I said to myself this year, "Is this really how I want to live my life"? And no it wasn't so I deleted my social medias and before, I used to delete my social medias but I would get back on it hours later, but this year I kept going. I was no longer going to be a statistic and this time, I was going to actually enjoy my life and find myself. 

Galatians 6:4-5 ~ "Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load."

5. Finding Myself and Enjoying My Own Hobbies Again

This is a HUGE one for me. I didn't really know what I liked to do because I was always on social media silently destroying my brain doom-scrolling. Now I'm noticing that I like to read books, journal, drink coffee, sip tea, play my piano, exercise, play video games, cook, bake, watching nostalgic tv shows, and overall just enjoy my life again. I didn't realize how much I was in survival mode until I was actually healing from it (and I know y'all can relate to this too). And slowly I'm realizing when you find your identity in Christ, NO one can stop, destroy, or put obstacles in your way because you already know who you are in Christ. 

Psalm 139:13-14 ~ "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so complex! Your workmanship is marvelous   how well you know it."

10 Journal Reflection Questions

1. Whose approval am I seeking the most right now, and why does their opinion matter so much to me?
2. Am I allowing other people's opinions to determine how I see myself?
3. What does Galatians 1:10 teach me about seeking God's approval instead of people's approval?
4. Where in my life am I people pleasing, and what am I afraid might happen if I say no?
5. What is one boundary I need to create to protect my peace, emotional health, or relationship with God?
6. Who am I when I'm not trying to impress, please, or prove myself to anyone else?
7. What activities, hobbies, or interests have I lost touch with that I would love to rediscover?
8. How does social media affect the way I see myself, and what changes could help me stop comparing myself to others?
9. What is one negative belief I've been carrying about myself that I need to surrender to God?
10. What does finding my identity in Christ mean to me, and how can I live from that identity this week?

Ready to Continue Your Reset?

Learning to release other people's opinions and find your identity in Christ is a journey. I'm still learning and growing through it myself, and I know that healing doesn't happen overnight.

If you're looking for a way to spend more intentional time with God, reset your mind, and focus on your faith, I created a free 7-Day Christian Reset Workbook to help you do exactly that.

Inside the workbook, you'll be guided through seven days of intentionally resetting different areas of your life, including your mind, body, heart, home, digital life, goals, and your weekly reset.

If you're ready to take some time for yourself, grow closer to God, and begin creating more peace in your life, you can download your free workbook below.

[Download Your Free 7-Day Christian Reset Workbook Here]

Continue Your Healing Journey